This month my younger daughter turns ten years old. It’s the end of an era. I’m leaving behind “little kids” and fully entering the world of soon-to-be teenagers, with everything that entails. I’m learning a lot about parenting and homeschooling preteen girls–and about myself.
Parenting a Preteen
My kids still need me. When I started this parenting journey, I thought that as my kids got older and more independent, they wouldn’t need me as much. That’s simply not true. While it’s true that my children are more self-sufficient, they still need me, because the situations they face and concerns they have are much more complex than when they were younger. This is important for both of them, but especially for the one with social and emotional delays because she’s struggling to keep up with her peers and to understand the intricacies of social situations.
It’s full of firsts. The preteen years are just as full of “firsts” as the early years. My older daughter enjoys window shopping (and trying on) formal dresses, dreaming of the day when she’ll be able to attend the teen formal our local homeschool group holds each year. She’s also looking forward to entering our church youth group and all the new social activities she’ll get to participate in there. My younger daughter will enter the preteen ministry at our church in the fall, and both girls will have different activities available to them in our homeschool group because they have finally gotten old enough to participate.
Homeschooling is different. As both girls get older, I start thinking more about high school and what will come after, whether that looks like college, a trade school, or job training. We’re making more and more decisions together, through prayer and discussion, about what course their studies will take as they get closer to high school. We are looking at strengths, weaknesses, and interests and praying about the direction God would have each of them take. Each lesson takes on more weight as we talk more often about laying the foundation for following God’s plans for their lives.
It’s fun. I really enjoy spending time with my girls, learning their likes and dislikes as they grow older and change, finding out what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling about all the changes they’re going through, and getting a pulse for what their friends are experiencing too. It’s not always comfortable, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
We’re growing. I’m growing as a parent as they grow in all of these ways. When I get apprehensive about parenting teens, I remember how I felt when they were toddlers and I couldn’t imagine getting to this point. And here we are. God has grown me up right alongside my kids, preparing me to handle each stage as it comes. Somehow that makes the next few years not seem quite as scary.
What’s your favorite “stage” your child has gone through so far? What did you like most about it?
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